You made it happen. You are now living abroad. You have
deftly completed the tasks on a long checklist from having a garage sale back
home to figuring out how to open an electricity account in your new home
country. You maintained a brave face so far, as the journey that has been paved
with twists, turns and the occasional bump in the road. Some you anticipated;
others, not so much. Or… maybe you dream of living abroad some day, or just
arrived to your new country, or perhaps a few years into your new reality. No
matter where you are in the expatriate journey, an understanding of the stages
of the expatriate integration process will help to serve as guide throughout
your experience.
Pre-departure: Am I really doing this?
As you prepare for departure date, you are mixed with
feelings of excitement, sadness, and a fair bit of exhaustion as you try to tie
up the innumerable loose ends. Bittersweet conversations with friends who are
so excited for you, the awkward feeling of goodbyes and your internal
realization- this chapter of life is coming to an end. You are surprised by the
strength of the occasional wave of emotions you feel, but you put your game
face on, board the plane and jump into a new reality.
Honeymoon: Vacations never felt like this
Your expatriate journey begins with the honeymoon stage
where you are constantly stimulated by a barrage of new experiences: sights,
sounds and smells that feed your insatiable curiosity. Your excitement is
palpable as you explore your new environs and carry out everyday tasks. You are
left with the same thought over and over, “Wow, this is where I live!” You are
truly impressed with yourself and how you have handled this momentous shift.
However, the initial elation ebbs after the first month or so as uncertainty
shows itself from under your adrenaline-filled armor.
Culture Shock: Is this really happening?
The “newness” of your transplant home is wearing off, and
some of the same things you found so intriguing a few weeks ago now grate on
your nerves. It starts slow, but builds as you increasingly can’t help but
question the seemingly illogical way things are done comparing them to the “way
they do it back home.” You feel fatigued trying to communicate in a new
language and successfully navigate the cultural labyrinth without offending the
locals. Minor frustrations build inside you until you feel anger boiling
beneath your trying-to-be-calm exterior. You probably thought it would not
happen to you, but you have entered the second phase- you are in “culture shock.”
Don’t be discouraged, everyone has these feelings to different degrees, but the
way you cope in the face of these challenges will define your expatriate
experience.
Transformation: Finding your groove
The transformation stage is longer than the culture shock
stage, but with some time, frustration and longing for something familiar are
replaced with a true appreciation of the lifestyle and culture of your new
country…you are becoming an expat. To make this transition much easier, there
are important coping activities and tools that you can practice and utilize.
For example, you should establish new routines, introduce yourself to your
neighbors, make new friends (not just other expats!), and participate in local
activities (clubs, events, celebrations, sporting events, etc). This
transformative stage will be an incredibly rewarding process as you learn and
experience the cultural richness of your new home empowering you with a deeper
understanding of your own cultural identity.
Integration: A whole new reality
You have accepted and embraced your new lifestyle by
successfully bridging the cultural chasm that once existed. While you will
never be a native, you have transformed yourself into an expatriate, a citizen
of the world. There will be the occasional frustration, but all in all, you are
generally happy and at ease in your new life. Some expats will never reach the
final stage as they remain stuck in the transformative stage, isolated and
unwilling to accept and embrace the cultural nuances of their host country.
Others take it to the other extreme rejecting their own culture which can be
equally divisive to long-term happiness. For expats on short-term assignments,
achieving full-integration poses to be a challenge since often they leave while
in the Culture Shock, or Transformation stage.
Each person’s experience is unique, and there are no hard and fast timetables to adjusting to your new life, but there are tools and strategies that make this process quicker and easier. This incredible experience is as much personal as it is geographic; your journey will be defined by how you react to the more challenging moments. I was fortunate to reach Integration during my most recent expatriate experience in Latin America and honestly did not want to leave. On the other hand, I experienced instances when I was living in Europe where I left the country prior to full-integration. I find myself often asking, “what if I had stayed longer?”
Community is an essential resource throughout the expatriate journey, and the Expat Focus community would love for you to share your experiences as you’ve moved through the different phases of integration.
